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Why people secretly don’t want you to succeed

Have you ever been laughed at when you told someone your deepest goals and dreams?

Okay, maybe they didn’t laugh at you — but they might as well have as they give you this mildly concerned look as they tell you “that’s interesting….”

But what happens when you finally start accomplishing those dreams? You start to notice the people around you start acting strange.

Some might try to talk some “sense” into you:

  • “Whoa. Why don’t you stick to your day job?” (“You’re changing and I’m getting jealous”)
  • “Yeah that sounds cool, but you have to deal with so many complicated hoops (lists reasons why you can’t)” (“Code for “I’m not improving in my life and it makes me feel bad that you are”)
  • Others might completely change their attitude toward you! (You might notice excessive flirting, snarky comments, or straight up bad mouthing)

I dealt with this my entire life, as people laughed at me, scoffed and changed the subject, to even calling me out as a “pipe dream”.

The best way to see this in immediate action is to change how you dress.

If you’ve worn t-shirts and sneakers your whole life, listen to the reactions of everybody around you. You’ll know almost right away who supports you and who is jealous of you and is trying to put you down.

In fact, this is normal. Most people are unaccepting of change. They want to stick to what they know, try something only after seeing other’s reviews about it, they are scared of change. It’s apart of human psychology to resist change.

But you don’t have to dress nice just to impress your friends — actually, dressing well improves your own self confidence. Studies have proven that dressing well “made people feel more powerful”, which cause positive reinforcements on your psychology.

I still remember the time I was with a friend, and he was being complimented on how well he was dressed. “Where’d you get that suit?”

“Walmart actually.”

“WHAT? Ugh… Walmart? Don’t you have any class?”

Look, no matter what point you’re at in life, you’ll have haters. Most people are always looking for a “magic pill”. You were once on their level. When you start accomplishing your goals, they can’t accept it.

They somehow think they ‘deserve it too’, not taking in the fact that you painstakingly hustled and focused on improving yourself after work while they drank beer and binge watched the latest TV-series on Netflix.

Dealing with haters tip# 1:

Don’t look to anyone for approval. Do your thing. If you wan’t something bad enough, make it happen. In the dark. Alone. Focused and disciplined.

You can mention what you’re trying to do, but take their response with a grain of salt. If it’s important to you, and you believe in it — do it. Put your head down, put in the work, and make your goals happen.

Dealing with haters tip# 2:

Your true friends are the ones who support you — they just sometimes might not be as excited about something as you are — don’t take this personally.

Although it’s hard to remove friends and family you love from your life — at the very least minimize contact with the people bringing you down.

It’s one thing for someone to not agree with your vision, but if they’re contributing negativity toward your life, and it’s actually preventing you from reaching your goals, it’s more beneficial to remove them from your life.

I can’t tell you how to live your life, I wouldn’t want to!

I’m sharing these insights that have helped me greatly increase the quality of my life. I hope you can internalize some of these insights and use them to stay focused on your vision.

I’m just wondering: What’s one thing you tried to do to improve your life that someone either laughed at or put you down?

-Cody

Ricardo Bueno
January 10th, 2018 at 2:25 am

I left a great job to work at a startup. Some of my co-workers hated that. Today, I still talk to a few of them. Others, not so much.

The biggest lesson for me: head down, focus, and keep doing your thing. And surround yourself with like-minded people (people who want to see you succeed).

Cody
January 17th, 2018 at 2:52 pm

Definitely agree, it can be hard to cut out people who bring you down sometimes. Especially if it’s a family member or someone you love. But sometimes it’s for your best interest.

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